[ Their face twists before they can stop it at that little heartfelt sigh, and they duck their head as if it'll hide it from him. Something about the ease and gentle warmth from his last words push them over the edge. If they were physically able, they'd probably be on the verge of tears from this. ]
You're the only one...
[ That would say that about me, is what they want to say, but don't quite finish before their voice breaks off. It seems so simple. What he's saying is not even that complex or specific to them, just kind and natural, but it still shakes them to their core. It isn't the first time he's made them feel a sliver of what it's like to be wanted, but here, it feels all-encompassing, like they're being wrapped up in the feeling. He's right, they don't have any idea. Cairngorm doesn't necessarily hate themself, they just don't think of themself. Maybe that's why hearing this from him is so disorienting. All their life, they've gone unnoticed by nearly everyone - at first, unwillingly, and later, by choice. But he continues to reassure them of their inherent value, how "wonderful" they are in his eyes. That's more than people who have known them for centuries have ever done for them.
They let out a shuddering breath, keeping their head down, but looking at their hand between his. It feels like nothing else matters but these hands in theirs, and the storm of emotions running through them. Not the war at home, not this vile town they're stuck in, not the fact that they're an immortal crystal and he's human. Right now, he's the only thing that matters even a little to them. How grateful they feel to have met him, to receive this affection for him - that's what matters. He doesn't know how much this means to them, how much everything he already does means to them. Well, at least not yet.
Their hand tightens in his, and what they say next is raw, like its being wrenched out of them. ]
...You're the only one I could feel this for.
[ That's what they should say instead. Acknowledging what they feel for him to themself, and aloud to him, means coming to terms with the reality of inevitably losing someone they care for, and they'd been afraid of that - they still are. But he has to know. Its frightening to take the final step off the ledge and let themself fall, but they find that their longing for this tight feeling and for his kindness outweighs the instinct to shove away to protect themself. ]
To you— is that what I am?
[ Are they as special to him as he is to them? He doesn’t feel this for anyone else? That’s the last thing they want to know. ]
[ his next words were going to be reassurances that there was no need for them to respond to him immediately - this is a lot in a short period of time for someone who lives such a long, slow life, and their history and personality only make it all harder to accept, he's sure. When he planned this, he didn't necessarily expect everything to be resolved at once. He'd simply wanted to clear the air and perhaps learn, at the very least, if he did have a chance. Yes, he feels confident in his belief that they feel something for him, too, but assumptions couldn't take him further than this point. Plans rarely go off without a hitch, after all.
So he's sure they're saying you're the only one that thinks that or something along those lines. They'd said similar things to him before. The conflict is plain on their face and the way they try to conceal it. Lupin is not ignorant of the fact that what he's doing might hurt them, probably will hurt them in the long run - he just believes the happiness he could give them will outweigh it. Maybe that's what they're worrying about now. Or maybe they're still feeling disbelief and a lack of worth. His mind keeps working tirelessly, coming up with more words, words to comfort, words to convince, something better to say to swat away those fears - but he doesn't end up needing any of them. His eyes widen when they finish their sentence at last - Cairngorm finally managed to take him off-guard in this conversation - before he smiles back, equal parts affectionate and boyishly excited. ]
Yes. You, and you alone.
[ he could joke around, make some comment asking if they're calling him unfaithful or a skirt-chaser, but they're here offering him their fragile heart at last, and he'll accept it with all the care and delicacy he can muster. It's so typical of Cairngorm, not to specify what this is - this could really be anything, if they needed to run away and hide again. They'll make him read between the lines until the end. But Lupin's become quite good at it. And he knows that this is something gentle and precious and frightening and meant for him and no one else. The idea that they were listening all these months, that they felt that same tug that he did, that he'd managed to melt their cold exterior and find a place all his own among their thousand years of memories and emotions - he feels it rushing through his veins, exuberant and hot. He's been in love before. Recently, even. But it's always different - and Cairngorm is certainly the most different of them all.
He shifts his free hand as he speaks that last words, gently resting it on their hip, as if they're the one that will break if he makes a careless move. It's not so different from the stance he took as their dance partner. Yet there's a softness to it, a want to simply touch and be closer, and no purpose beyond that. ]
[ It's less a complaint and more of a lament, quiet and somewhat to themself. It was hard to tell when he was doing things because he's Lupin, someone who would help just about anyone, and when he was doing them because they're Cairngorm. They'd always thought there was a chance everything he did for them was just because he extends his hand to everyone he knows. It's no secret he's well liked by others, either. Now that he's said what he has, grappling with the idea that everything between them is because of his affection is a little less confusing, even if it's difficult to accept... he's offered his heart to them, too, but it's like it's too big for them to carry - they're clumsy in knowing how to handle it. So they fall silent, contemplative.
For as excited and happy as he seems, they seem equally sorrowful. No doubt, it's so fulfilling to hear this from him. But it feels like their "heart" is swelling and breaking at the same time. Even if he were to live out his natural lifespan here, that's - what, another sixty or seventy years? That's how long they have left with him, at maximum? It's such a short amount of time. He probably doesn't think that way at all - even spending a year or two with them...he might think that's enough. But it doesn't feel like enough for them. It's not fair, is what they think. Naturally, thinking all this makes them remember why they hadn't wanted to get too accustomed to this feeling, and to being around him. It's complicated, and they wish it wasn't... they'd never had the privilege of having someone all to themself, so that part is exciting, but its bittersweet in a way they know no other gem feels - at least not immediately.
Experimentally, they stroke their thumb against the back of his hand, stewing in everything. They don't know what to say or do now that they've gotten to this part, especially because they don't think he can understand what they're feeling right now. Obviously, Lupin has thought about this enough that he must have taken this into account. He said he's selfish, but he's not selfish enough to do this if didn't think it was for the greater good... that's the kind of person he is, and they know it. But even being aware of that, that doesn't make the weight on their shoulders any lighter, or their expression any less tense. It does keep them from moving away from his touch, preoccupied with their own thoughts and their tentative grip on his hand, looking at them like they don't even belong to either of them. ]
[ that comment makes him chuckle, and he shakes his head. ]
Hard to tell? I don't want to hear that from you.
[ he chides them playfully. If he's heard to read, Cairngorm is nightmare mode. But he gets it, or he thinks he gets it - they're the worrying, cynical type, and as hard as it may be for him to relate, he understands they probably didn't want to put their faith in anything they weren't certain of. (It's fortunate he's such a go-getter, or they probably would have kept circling each other in uncertainty forever.)
Lupin lets the silence sit between them for a second or two, gives them a second to recover or think. He may be laughing, but they're not - that pain in their bearing isn't going away, even with his reasserting himself. When he'd daydream of this, he'd always imagined them getting flustered and hiding their face in his chest so he wouldn't see them blushing, or something similarly adorable. But, again, things never go exactly as he imagines. Luckily, he still has his words. ]
I bet I know what you're thinking about, [ he says, quietly, and despite the serious subject matter, he maintains his smile, his confidence, though appropriately muted. ] We won't stay here forever. And I won't be around forever, either. Right?
[ it would be rather gauche for another human to think so far ahead so early on - but for Cairngorm, it's only natural, and he thinks nothing of it. Of course they're thinking in the long term. They've only known each other for a heartbeat, from their perspective. Even being trapped here will probably be nothing more than a tiny bump in the road of their life. This is one problem Lupin can't fix. He knows he can't fix it. He knows he probably won't be able to fully ease their fears or convince them it will be fine, either. The two of them live in different realities, in the end. Human and gem. ]
... For us mortals, nothing lasts forever. We all know that. It's sad, and so we don't like to think about it, but we always remember it. It's because we know that nothing can last that we try so hard to enjoy it all while we can. [ but in the end, aren't gems the same, in some way? They're fighting in a war; their best friends could disappear the very next day and never be seen again. So it can't be impossible for them to love or take risks. They wouldn't fight so hard to live, otherwise. ] I don't know when we'll get out of here. For all I know, I could wake up tomorrow and be back in London like nothing happened. But you know what? If that happens, I'll be much happier knowing I got to meet you and tell you all of this, even if we can only share this one single sunset. I'd choose that bit of sadness at losing you a thousand times over the regret I'd feel never having you at all.
[ will that make sense to Cairngorm? He doesn't know. He lives for fleeting joys and thrills; he grew up ready to lose everything at any moment, should he sleep on the wrong doorstep or pick the wrong pocket. Their life is full of combat, but it's constant, stable, reliable. He doesn't know, but he hopes his words reach them, somehow; this moment shouldn't be sad. It should be happy - for both of them. His fingers curl around theirs more tightly, and he leans his head in a little bit. ]
You don't have to be afraid. I said it before, didn't I? I'll make you smile - I promise. So be happy with me, even if it's only for a little while.
[ They listen carefully as he explains, trying to understand this from his point of view. Maybe he's right. They think that if they were to go back home tomorrow, they'd never forget this moment, even if multiple centuries passed. They'd remember his kind words and how he reached out his hand to them without hesitation. In whatever way, he's left a mark on them, changed them forever... they guess the idea of having never met him at all is worse than even knowing him for the short nine months that they have. They hadn't thought of it that way...
They can't let go of all the heartache at once, of course. There's still a hint of grief in their eyes when they finally look at him after he finishes, their brows drawn up. Be happy with me, he says. They're the type that doubts everyone around them, finds it hard to trust in anyone. Whether that's because they've never had to rely on anyone, or because they avoid doing so because it takes away from their reliable image... it's so hard to lean into this. But like they've seen in him before, there's a sense of reliability in his persistence and confidence, at least in this realm of matters. They want to be close to him, feel what they feel when they're near him more, and he wants to be dear to them, too. If they're going to lose him either way, is it better to at least make the most of it...?
After a long beat of silence, they break eye contact, watching themself tighten their hand around his in response. ]
...Alright. [ They might not look it now, but they do want to feel the lift of pressure off of them when they're by his side. Cairngorm isn't sure if it's "happiness", but they do feel better around him than they do around anyone else, that's for sure. There's still all their fears for what this means for the both of them, but if they agree now, they won't run the risk of him changing his mind. Always toeing this line and skirting around it had been risky enough. ] If you say so...
[ Over time, they've been understanding more and more that the reason why humans spend so much time celebrating and doing things they see as pointless is because - they realize how short their lives are. And they want to enjoy that time. That's the gist of what he's saying, right...? It'll make him happy if they are with him during whatever time he has. Even though they're a gem, and not someone he can be with in the same way he could with a human. In fairytales, humans fall in love with non-humans all the time. They weren't sure if it was something real humans did or not...
Then again, he'd always said he didn't care about that kind of thing very much to begin with. He's a free spirit that does whatever he wants; the complete opposite of them. Being "happy" was never very high up on their priority list - but they can tell from this conversation alone that their happiness has become something important to him, and that's enough to give them a warm feeling. The idea that their existence alone makes him happy fills them with a sense of unfamiliar pleasure, too. ]
You want us to be a pair from now on, then. I knew you wouldn't put that note where you did for no reason...
[ It's said with a slight sigh, putting up some semblance of their typical tired jeering, if only to break some of the tension, and to save some face. Mostly, they are deflecting attention from the pain all this is giving them, and will continue to give them if they pair up. Like he says, it's sad to think about. Obviously, he isn't planning on dwelling on it for the time being - and they feel that if they continue to wallow, his reassurance will start to feel like pity. ]
[ it's killing him, this grief and suffering they're so plainly going through. Enthusiasm was never in the cards, and he didn't think he'd be able to ease their worries with a few simple words, either, but this level of reluctance hurts. They feel the same way towards him. The difference is that they're still afraid to actually accept it. That's how he sees it, at least. Lupin lets go of their hip, moving his hand to cup their cheek, instead, gently urging them to look his way. ]
Yeah. That's what I want.
[ the tired attempt to break the tension is ignored; this is important to him, and frankly, hearing them force themself only makes the tension in him worse. His eyes are serious, searching, staring into their pale irises. He wants a lot of things. Cairngorm's never once asked him for anything. But this particular heist takes two people to finish. He's not about to take their time and their feelings them if they won't take the same from him. ]
What do you want, Cairn?
[ they're agreeing in words, their slender fingers are entwined with his, but they're only reacting, only allowing, only "if he says so" - it's not enough for him. He can't do this if he feels like they're simply letting themself be swept up in his current - especially because he knows, he's certain they feel this same warmth. Even if he thinks it would be good for them, even if he knows he could make them happy, he won't force them. He can't force them. He needs them to reach back towards him and take his hand themself. Any happiness he could give them would be meaningless if they can't even acknowledge that they want it. ]
[ Being asked that is physically jarring, if they’re being honest. The last time someone asked them what they wanted— it was a hundred and three years ago. ]
Um... I don’t know... whatever...
[ They let him touch their face, but they dart their eyes away as soon as they see how seriously he’s looking at them, a little bit of color coming into their cheeks. They’re so uncomfortable. They’re not accustomed to wanting things, much less saying as much, because they’ve lived their life with the mindset that they could always go without. When they’d been asked if they wanted a new name, they preferred to let other people make the decision for them. They want that here, too— they want to be led, want the responsibility of making a decision out of their hands. But the more they wait for him to make it himself, the more it becomes obvious that he won’t let up.
Its different, this time. Back then, they would’ve been okay staying named Ghost Quartz, because that was fine with everyone around them. It wasn’t until Phos reached their hand out to them that they were able to appreciate their strong and serious sounding name. Lupin, on the other hand, does not seem fine with just letting them coast the way they always have; no, he wants them to be happy, to choose happiness, and he obviously cares a lot about whatever they’re thinking. Maybe its sad that thats such an unfamiliar thought to them, but it is, so the beats following their flustered scrambling are heavy and awkward. ]
If we pair up... I'd be fine with it... [ They're aware even as they're saying it that this is not the response he wants. But they are trying, they really are, to express what they're feeling. It's hard, especially when communicating verbally comes so easily to him. ] I don’t want you to stop treating me the way you have been. Mostly...
[ The embarrassing phrases and stuff can go, but it's not the time to complain about that. They could lose him at a moments notice. There’s not the promise of always having another time to let him know how they feel, or to have a century to think about it. That’s what pushes them on to pry these words out of themself, their face becoming redder and it becoming more and more impossible to look anywhere in his direction. ]
To rely on you, and be something special to you... [ They feel so nervous. But why should they? It's Lupin... he's probably the only one it's safe to open up to this extent around. There's a curt sigh, like they're trying to let go of some of their frustration, before closing their eyes completely. ] I— want to.
[ even Lupin can't keep himself from looking crushed when they answer him with "whatever" and convince him for a brief second that he's somehow been cruelly fooling himself this entire time about Cairngorm's feelings for him. Thank goodness it becomes apparent very quickly that they're just embarrassed. Embarrassed is fine. He watches their cheek flush under the gloved pad of his thumb, and his expression relaxes again, a happier smile than before gradually creeping onto his face. It's obvious he's hanging onto their every word, awkward and stumbling as they may be.
Yes, embarrassed is fine. It's okay if they're shy, and it's okay if they're scared and worried about the future, too - as long as they're willing to try, and want to have him at their side, he'll take care of them. He'll find a way to fight those fears - or, at the very least, he'll love Cairngorm enough to make them nothing but distant maybe-one-days. Bold claims. Not a fiber of his being doubts that he can back them up. He can, and will. ]
Consider your wish granted, then.
[ A reply in a low voice, quiet, decisive. Not for the first time (not even in this conversation), Lupin finds them so painfully cute that he feels like it's taking all his willpower not to kiss those adorably red cheeks, cold weather be damned - and that brings him to the matter of his second theft of the evening, as outlined in his card. It might be a little devilish to take, considering how much he's overstimulated them already... But they've given him permission to be a little more selfish with their agreement to this "partnership" of theirs. ]
I've one more thing to ask you. Back in the ice palace... I'm glad you saved me and all, but doing that while I couldn't even appreciate it was foul play. I say we need a do-over. [ a pause; for the first time in this entire conversation, Lupin actually looks a bit shy, if only for a moment, smiling helplessly. ] ... May I kiss you?
[ They were slightly worried he’d be unsatisfied with their answer and ask them to elaborate, so they’re relieved they’re not going to be pushed to talk through their feelings anymore. Instead of stressing out about that, they can start settling into the reality where they’re a pair now, where they’re both choosing each other over anyone else...
And humans kiss the ones that they’re in love with. They recall easily what Lupin had said at that dance, how being close makes you feel less alone, its supposed to be comforting and a sign of trust for humans— back then, they thought it was pretty stupid, honestly. Now they’re seeing more of what he meant, in his shy and affectionate expression, and in his request.
They let out a little huff, slightly frustrated by how flustered they feel and how he keeps prolonging their embarrassment. “Foul play” is annoying too, and so is the fact that he’s reminding them he was conscious during that - what else were they supposed to do? He knows gems don’t do this, they’re not even sure if they can do it correctly... ]
If you’re gonna do it, just do it already...
[ They’ve frankly had enough of saying directly what they mean in this conversation, so they can’t stop themself from dodging the question while giving him the green light. If they were the same gem they were nine months ago, they wouldn’t pay this ritual a second thought— they’d think of it as something alien and definitely kind of gross. But its meaningful to him, and to them now too now that they can see the significance behind it... they lean slightly into his hand, fully expecting him to lead them. Its mortifying that they have no idea what they’re doing, but if this is something they get to share with him and him alone, then, they guess they can bear it. ]
[ Their huffy little reply gets him to laugh silently through his nose. Looks like they've hit their upper limit on being honest with him for the day. The sun's still setting, of course; no matter what, they'll be free from his attentions soon (and he did that on purpose, too, so they'd have a nice excuse to escape and ruminate on all this alone.) But it hasn't gone down quite yet, and so Lupin can keep them trapped here just a little bit longer. ]
Close your eyes.
[ he has no expectation that they'll know what to do here - he's very sure they're just indulging him and his weird human behaviors, in fact - but he's fine with that; taking the lead and making these romantic gestures has always been his bag, anyway. He can be careful and patient; he'll even endure a few bruises if he has to. He just wants to kiss them. Very badly. His hand doesn't leave theirs, holding it tightly; the other stays on their face, and he leans in, gently pressing a kiss to the opposite cheek before touching his lips to theirs.
Cairngorm's lips aren't warm - in fact, they're very cold after being out in the frozen air for this long. They aren't soft and yielding like the girls he's been with in the past. It's almost like kissing a marble statue: hard, smooth, strangely perfect in its shape. In another context, he might call the sensation unpleasant. But in this context - where that strange perfection beneath his lips and fingertips is Cairngorm, beautiful and living and accepting that flutter that's been living in his heart for weeks with shy reciprocation - Lupin can't even feel the chill. It's an innocent kiss, soft and chaste, but he lingers, as if the moment he leaves them, he won't be allowed to have this again. And maybe he won't. Maybe he really will wake up in his bed tomorrow. But if he does, he wants to make sure he doesn't forget - and that Cairngorm doesn't forget him, either, in the long, long winter of their life. ]
[ They find themself holding his hand back just as tightly as he is, letting their eyes fall closed when he starts leaning in— even without being prompted, they would have, because he’s just so close that they can hardly take it.
The brief kiss to their cheek gives them a moment to prepare for the soft feeling of his lips on theirs. Its definitely very weird, alien and like nothing they can compare it to... but its also pleasant in the way his lips have a sort of give, pliant and soft, even when they’re too unsure to press back too much. Its a world of difference between now and when they’d kissed him at the palace— it was out of desperation then, and without any of the gentleness of this. Even if they’re still reeling from everything they’ve spoken about, they can’t stop thinking about how this is meant only for them. Its strange, sure, but when its him, someone who treasures them and only them, they can’t find it in themself to care too much.
They tilt their head a little more to the side, like they’ve seen in books, letting him linger there while they lean into his hand. They’re not sure when this is supposed to end, and they almost don’t want it to, since its almost as if in this surreal moment, framed by the warm light and the silence around them, like all the constant weight on them is lifted off. He has that effect on them, they’ve realized. When they’re with him, its like— they’re free. ]
[ sadly, it does have to end, because Lupin needs to breathe - after a long moment, he pulls back quietly, letting out a small sigh. The bite of the cold remains on his lips after parting, but he doesn't mind; the warm buzz filling his body offsets it. He doesn't even know how long he's wanted to do that anymore. How many months? Who knows - but he's done it at last, and more: he's taken their heart, too. The feeling of giddy satisfaction that had left him briefly while he tried to calm Cairngorm's worries is coming back. They felt the same. They let him kiss them -- no, they even tried to kiss him back, despite not knowing what to do and being afraid of hurting him. He looks as cool and collected as ever, smiling roguishly at them over the scant few inches he's put between them, but there's a spark of excitement in his eyes. ]
That was much better.
[ teasing, but very, very affectionate. He delicately brushes a stray strand of hair behind their ear before at last letting them go, standing up straight again and letting his hand fall to his side. (Naturally, the one interlocked with theirs stays that way - he couldn't escape their grip, and he doesn't want to, anyway.) ]
And with that, my mission's accomplished. [ a grin, playful, a bit more tender than usual. ] Thank you kindly, ma chérie. I think I'll be enjoying my stolen rewards for a while to come.
[ Naturally, they frown at his teasing, quickly trying to regain ground. It's not their style to remain so vulnerable for so long, even if the flush in their face stays for a few extra beats after the fact. When he pulls back, they lessen their hold in his hand, wondering if they're supposed to let go now - sure, they held hands for a long time back at that festival, but they're pretty sure that was a result of them not wanting him to be able to escape. They guess it is a bit weird to keep doing this, but he also doesn't seem to be letting go... ]
Rewards?
[ They repeat back, slightly distracted by their thinking. Oh. That's right. His card had said he was going to steal things from them... they'd forgotten about it in the midst of all this. Is it— that play on words he's used before? That "a heart to steal" thing. It can't be something that silly and abstract, can it? ]
I don't know what you're talking about.... that, and the "ma chérie" thing. [ They'd always assumed it was just some little slip of their understanding, but when they think about it, he really only says that during moments like these. ] If I'm supposed to understand it, I don't.
[ Sometimes Lupin randomly says words they don't understand; they usually just skip over it because it's not that important, and they don't care that much, considering they have the huge Town Translating Everything They Say magic to blame for the mess up. ]
[ he doesn't seem interested in letting go... a little longer. As standoffish as they might act, this little connection between their hands is proof that what they're actually feeling towards him is different, and he likes that - a little piece of honesty they can't hide with evasive words. On the other hand, Lupin happily explains his own obscure terminology with an impish smile upon their request. ]
"My darling."
[ so, yes, he started calling them that before he told them in plainer words how he felt; he winks at them, then lifts his free hand to poke a finger at their chest. ]
Like I said, I was taking what you took from me. My love, [ he taps his index finger against their blouse before moving it up to touch it to their mouth, ] and my lips. Now we're even.
[ not even the slightest hint of shame from saying these things. He's just proud, really... He walks around them, then, back towards the door and Flavo, tugging them along with him. The sun's getting lower, and he's less confident in his ability to drag them back to their house compared to his ability to romance them. ]
You've been calling me that? Since even at the palace...
[ They certainly make it seem like they are complaining, with the way they cover their face with their free hand out of embarrassment, their voice laced with annoyance. He wasn't joking about feeling this way for some time, which is cool to have proof of (they guess), but he really has some nerve. Rather than let go of his hand like they were starting to think they should, they squeeze it harder in retaliation to both this new knowledge they've uncovered, and the poking - almost like they're scolding him. ]
Ugh, you are so... [ Something. They don't know. But they let up the pressure on his hand only when he starts tugging them towards the door, dragging their hand down their face. ] You made it seem like you were actually going to steal something from the house.
[ yeah, it hurts, but he's laughing - their embarrassment is cute, as ever, and he can't really blame them. That time, he was the one playing dirty; he probably deserves a little bone-squishing for that one.
he is, indeed, so something, and he knows it, too. ]
I stole you out of the house, [ he offers lightly, shooting them an innocent look as his footsteps crunch into the snow outside. ]
[ That little innocent look won’t get him anywhere. In fact, they meet it with a leer, unimpressed as usual by his cheesy antics.
Although it is sort of comforting to return to their usual dynamic, and to go back to acting as they always do together— just with something new established between them. A thought they most certainly will keep to themself. ]
You know that’s not what I meant. [ They tear their eyes away from him, staring at the ground in front of them instead. ] Is it really even “stealing” if you had to ask me to come with you?
Pssh. I'll have you know that I never steal anything that doesn't want to be stolen.
[ there's nuance to his methods, all right!! Or maybe he just refuses to lose even in a stupid little conversation. It's a familiar enough feeling, talking like this, and he enjoys it, too. ]
[ Of course, what he's implying by that is that they wanted him to come do this. Saying that they didn't want him to do all this would contradict most of what has already transpired; they never went out of their way to find a way to stop him, after all. They didn't not want him to do it, is the kind of vibe their thought process has.
They don't seem interested in pursuing that argument any further, knowing it could lead to getting backed into a corner, so they just walk in silence. When they start nearing Flavo, though, they glance at him from the corner of their eye, slipping their hand from his, then returning to looking forward. It feels slightly like leaving this forest behind is like leaving the suspended reality they were in where it was just the two of them, so they become a little more wary of being seen. Mostly because they're still letting everything sink in themself - they don't think they could handle being questioned by anyone else at the moment. It's still a weird custom to them, too.
They sigh a bit, mostly to themself, staying near him while they walk. ]
You're going back to Ruga, aren't you?
[ Or is he planning to walk with them the entire way...? ]
[ yeah, he didn't think they'd let themself walk into that trap... but it was worth a try. He knows he's right, anyway.
He looks back at them when their hand leaves his, perhaps just slightly disappointed, but does nothing, simply sticking it back in his pocket to warm it up. Lupin knows they're probably going to be frugal with physical contact; there's no need to take it personally. Are they having second thoughts, or just being shy? Or maybe it's just uncomfortable for them. They already let him get away with a lot today. At the question, he raises an eyebrow. ]
After I drop you back off, yes. Unless you want to come back with me?
[ if his guess was wrong and they want to stay with him a little longer -- he's certainly not going to object to that. ]
[ Their brow immediately furrows a little more, mostly in genuine confusion. ]
What? No. Why would I do that...
[ It didn't occur to them at all to follow him back to Ruga. They'd thought he might follow them back to their house, even if in their opinion, he's the one that needs to be "dropped off", but other than that, they'd thought most of their interaction was supposed to be over for the day - again, it's not in their rock DNA to even think to ask for more than what's readily offered. Even thinking about his offer briefly, a number of problems arise: firstly, his housemate might be there, so they'd have to come up with a reason for being over, and secondly, going over would mean having to sleep on a low quality couch as opposed to their average quality bed, whenever it gets dark enough. Neither of those things are things that they want, whether or not Lupin is there. ]
I just— didn't know if you were going to follow me all the way back.
[ He doesn't have to, so it's probably because he wants to - even though with each passing minute that it gets darker, it's getting colder out here, probably. They give him a little questioning glance, as if to silently ask if there's a reason why he isn't just taking the economical route and going home from here. ]
"Why would I do that--" [ he snorts, giving them a wry glance. ] All that, and you didn't even think about wanting to spend more time with me? You're terrible. You're gonna break my heart one day.
[ CAIRNGORM!! It's a good thing Lupin is so understanding - and it doesn't hurt that he's still feeling all warm and fuzzy, either. His tone is scolding, but in a playful way; he's not actually upset with them. The question in their eyes is evident, so he continues. ]
I don't want to leave you just yet. That's all. Besides, escorting you back is part of my duty as a gentleman.
Why am I the one being blamed for this? You're the one who said "inviting yourself over is bad manners."
[ They remind him with a huff, turning their face away slightly. It's not that they don't want to be around him, they just didn't think to go with him. In their view, they already got to do a lot with him today - for how selfish they've been described as over the last nine centuries, they're not too greedy when it comes to taking up people's time. They know he's only joking, but they're still going to provide a good reason if he's going to teasingly say they're terrible. ]
I can't go over, anyway. With the sun down, and how I've skipped hibernation twice, I'll get tired pretty soon— Lottie and Phos will think I disappeared if I just go wherever. [ Those two are so dramatic that they'd rather avoid a frantic scene being made of it. ] It's better if we just go back...
[ They deliberately leave that little 'we' in to let him know that they want him to come with them, even if they still think it's stupid that he's escorting them. ]
That was back then. You've got special permission to come see me whenever you want now.
[ he'll be happy to give up some time for them - he finds he has an excess of it here. There's only so many smoke bombs one man can make before he gets sick of it. And there's not much use for a handsome vigilante in a tiny village comprised mostly of upstanding (confused) citizens. ]
But fair enough. Flavo it is. [ a beat. the comment does bring to mind a question... ] Are you going to tell them?
[ he's guessing no... but Lupin feels like it's something he should ask. ]
What would I say to them? Bringing it up out of nowhere is weird. Especially when those two will make a huge deal out of it...
[ They mumble, covering their eyes for a moment. It's embarrassing just thinking about it. There's no way they can just show up and tell their housemates, I decided Lupin is special to me in a more-than-friend way, and he also thinks of me like that, so we're a thing now. There's also the issue of what they're supposed to call Lupin now; they can't call him their partner-partner, because then he might get confused with Phos, but calling him their lover or something like that is too embarrassing. If they can, they'd like to avoid addressing him on his own at all— at least saying they're a pair or a couple isn't as bad...
Suffice to say, this is all still a lot for them to chew on. They don't think they regret it, but for them, personally, they need to keep it to themself for a little while. They're already so tight-lipped about their relationships with others— they barely, if ever, even mention Lupin to those two to begin with. For a few beats, the only sound is the pair's footsteps in the snow, before they move their hand to hold the side of their face, their brow growing more tense. ]
Why do you ask?
[ Does he want them to? Is he going to tell people right away...? It's always easier to let Lupin lead the conversation. ]
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You're the only one...
[ That would say that about me, is what they want to say, but don't quite finish before their voice breaks off. It seems so simple. What he's saying is not even that complex or specific to them, just kind and natural, but it still shakes them to their core. It isn't the first time he's made them feel a sliver of what it's like to be wanted, but here, it feels all-encompassing, like they're being wrapped up in the feeling. He's right, they don't have any idea. Cairngorm doesn't necessarily hate themself, they just don't think of themself. Maybe that's why hearing this from him is so disorienting. All their life, they've gone unnoticed by nearly everyone - at first, unwillingly, and later, by choice. But he continues to reassure them of their inherent value, how "wonderful" they are in his eyes. That's more than people who have known them for centuries have ever done for them.
They let out a shuddering breath, keeping their head down, but looking at their hand between his. It feels like nothing else matters but these hands in theirs, and the storm of emotions running through them. Not the war at home, not this vile town they're stuck in, not the fact that they're an immortal crystal and he's human. Right now, he's the only thing that matters even a little to them. How grateful they feel to have met him, to receive this affection for him - that's what matters. He doesn't know how much this means to them, how much everything he already does means to them. Well, at least not yet.
Their hand tightens in his, and what they say next is raw, like its being wrenched out of them. ]
...You're the only one I could feel this for.
[ That's what they should say instead. Acknowledging what they feel for him to themself, and aloud to him, means coming to terms with the reality of inevitably losing someone they care for, and they'd been afraid of that - they still are. But he has to know. Its frightening to take the final step off the ledge and let themself fall, but they find that their longing for this tight feeling and for his kindness outweighs the instinct to shove away to protect themself. ]
To you— is that what I am?
[ Are they as special to him as he is to them? He doesn’t feel this for anyone else? That’s the last thing they want to know. ]
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So he's sure they're saying you're the only one that thinks that or something along those lines. They'd said similar things to him before. The conflict is plain on their face and the way they try to conceal it. Lupin is not ignorant of the fact that what he's doing might hurt them, probably will hurt them in the long run - he just believes the happiness he could give them will outweigh it. Maybe that's what they're worrying about now. Or maybe they're still feeling disbelief and a lack of worth. His mind keeps working tirelessly, coming up with more words, words to comfort, words to convince, something better to say to swat away those fears - but he doesn't end up needing any of them. His eyes widen when they finish their sentence at last - Cairngorm finally managed to take him off-guard in this conversation - before he smiles back, equal parts affectionate and boyishly excited. ]
Yes. You, and you alone.
[ he could joke around, make some comment asking if they're calling him unfaithful or a skirt-chaser, but they're here offering him their fragile heart at last, and he'll accept it with all the care and delicacy he can muster. It's so typical of Cairngorm, not to specify what this is - this could really be anything, if they needed to run away and hide again. They'll make him read between the lines until the end. But Lupin's become quite good at it. And he knows that this is something gentle and precious and frightening and meant for him and no one else. The idea that they were listening all these months, that they felt that same tug that he did, that he'd managed to melt their cold exterior and find a place all his own among their thousand years of memories and emotions - he feels it rushing through his veins, exuberant and hot. He's been in love before. Recently, even. But it's always different - and Cairngorm is certainly the most different of them all.
He shifts his free hand as he speaks that last words, gently resting it on their hip, as if they're the one that will break if he makes a careless move. It's not so different from the stance he took as their dance partner. Yet there's a softness to it, a want to simply touch and be closer, and no purpose beyond that. ]
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[ It's less a complaint and more of a lament, quiet and somewhat to themself. It was hard to tell when he was doing things because he's Lupin, someone who would help just about anyone, and when he was doing them because they're Cairngorm. They'd always thought there was a chance everything he did for them was just because he extends his hand to everyone he knows. It's no secret he's well liked by others, either. Now that he's said what he has, grappling with the idea that everything between them is because of his affection is a little less confusing, even if it's difficult to accept... he's offered his heart to them, too, but it's like it's too big for them to carry - they're clumsy in knowing how to handle it. So they fall silent, contemplative.
For as excited and happy as he seems, they seem equally sorrowful. No doubt, it's so fulfilling to hear this from him. But it feels like their "heart" is swelling and breaking at the same time. Even if he were to live out his natural lifespan here, that's - what, another sixty or seventy years? That's how long they have left with him, at maximum? It's such a short amount of time. He probably doesn't think that way at all - even spending a year or two with them...he might think that's enough. But it doesn't feel like enough for them. It's not fair, is what they think. Naturally, thinking all this makes them remember why they hadn't wanted to get too accustomed to this feeling, and to being around him. It's complicated, and they wish it wasn't... they'd never had the privilege of having someone all to themself, so that part is exciting, but its bittersweet in a way they know no other gem feels - at least not immediately.
Experimentally, they stroke their thumb against the back of his hand, stewing in everything. They don't know what to say or do now that they've gotten to this part, especially because they don't think he can understand what they're feeling right now. Obviously, Lupin has thought about this enough that he must have taken this into account. He said he's selfish, but he's not selfish enough to do this if didn't think it was for the greater good... that's the kind of person he is, and they know it. But even being aware of that, that doesn't make the weight on their shoulders any lighter, or their expression any less tense. It does keep them from moving away from his touch, preoccupied with their own thoughts and their tentative grip on his hand, looking at them like they don't even belong to either of them. ]
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Hard to tell? I don't want to hear that from you.
[ he chides them playfully. If he's heard to read, Cairngorm is nightmare mode. But he gets it, or he thinks he gets it - they're the worrying, cynical type, and as hard as it may be for him to relate, he understands they probably didn't want to put their faith in anything they weren't certain of. (It's fortunate he's such a go-getter, or they probably would have kept circling each other in uncertainty forever.)
Lupin lets the silence sit between them for a second or two, gives them a second to recover or think. He may be laughing, but they're not - that pain in their bearing isn't going away, even with his reasserting himself. When he'd daydream of this, he'd always imagined them getting flustered and hiding their face in his chest so he wouldn't see them blushing, or something similarly adorable. But, again, things never go exactly as he imagines. Luckily, he still has his words. ]
I bet I know what you're thinking about, [ he says, quietly, and despite the serious subject matter, he maintains his smile, his confidence, though appropriately muted. ] We won't stay here forever. And I won't be around forever, either. Right?
[ it would be rather gauche for another human to think so far ahead so early on - but for Cairngorm, it's only natural, and he thinks nothing of it. Of course they're thinking in the long term. They've only known each other for a heartbeat, from their perspective. Even being trapped here will probably be nothing more than a tiny bump in the road of their life. This is one problem Lupin can't fix. He knows he can't fix it. He knows he probably won't be able to fully ease their fears or convince them it will be fine, either. The two of them live in different realities, in the end. Human and gem. ]
... For us mortals, nothing lasts forever. We all know that. It's sad, and so we don't like to think about it, but we always remember it. It's because we know that nothing can last that we try so hard to enjoy it all while we can. [ but in the end, aren't gems the same, in some way? They're fighting in a war; their best friends could disappear the very next day and never be seen again. So it can't be impossible for them to love or take risks. They wouldn't fight so hard to live, otherwise. ] I don't know when we'll get out of here. For all I know, I could wake up tomorrow and be back in London like nothing happened. But you know what? If that happens, I'll be much happier knowing I got to meet you and tell you all of this, even if we can only share this one single sunset. I'd choose that bit of sadness at losing you a thousand times over the regret I'd feel never having you at all.
[ will that make sense to Cairngorm? He doesn't know. He lives for fleeting joys and thrills; he grew up ready to lose everything at any moment, should he sleep on the wrong doorstep or pick the wrong pocket. Their life is full of combat, but it's constant, stable, reliable. He doesn't know, but he hopes his words reach them, somehow; this moment shouldn't be sad. It should be happy - for both of them. His fingers curl around theirs more tightly, and he leans his head in a little bit. ]
You don't have to be afraid. I said it before, didn't I? I'll make you smile - I promise. So be happy with me, even if it's only for a little while.
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They can't let go of all the heartache at once, of course. There's still a hint of grief in their eyes when they finally look at him after he finishes, their brows drawn up. Be happy with me, he says. They're the type that doubts everyone around them, finds it hard to trust in anyone. Whether that's because they've never had to rely on anyone, or because they avoid doing so because it takes away from their reliable image... it's so hard to lean into this. But like they've seen in him before, there's a sense of reliability in his persistence and confidence, at least in this realm of matters. They want to be close to him, feel what they feel when they're near him more, and he wants to be dear to them, too. If they're going to lose him either way, is it better to at least make the most of it...?
After a long beat of silence, they break eye contact, watching themself tighten their hand around his in response. ]
...Alright. [ They might not look it now, but they do want to feel the lift of pressure off of them when they're by his side. Cairngorm isn't sure if it's "happiness", but they do feel better around him than they do around anyone else, that's for sure. There's still all their fears for what this means for the both of them, but if they agree now, they won't run the risk of him changing his mind. Always toeing this line and skirting around it had been risky enough. ] If you say so...
[ Over time, they've been understanding more and more that the reason why humans spend so much time celebrating and doing things they see as pointless is because - they realize how short their lives are. And they want to enjoy that time. That's the gist of what he's saying, right...? It'll make him happy if they are with him during whatever time he has. Even though they're a gem, and not someone he can be with in the same way he could with a human. In fairytales, humans fall in love with non-humans all the time. They weren't sure if it was something real humans did or not...
Then again, he'd always said he didn't care about that kind of thing very much to begin with. He's a free spirit that does whatever he wants; the complete opposite of them. Being "happy" was never very high up on their priority list - but they can tell from this conversation alone that their happiness has become something important to him, and that's enough to give them a warm feeling. The idea that their existence alone makes him happy fills them with a sense of unfamiliar pleasure, too. ]
You want us to be a pair from now on, then. I knew you wouldn't put that note where you did for no reason...
[ It's said with a slight sigh, putting up some semblance of their typical tired jeering, if only to break some of the tension, and to save some face. Mostly, they are deflecting attention from the pain all this is giving them, and will continue to give them if they pair up. Like he says, it's sad to think about. Obviously, he isn't planning on dwelling on it for the time being - and they feel that if they continue to wallow, his reassurance will start to feel like pity. ]
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Yeah. That's what I want.
[ the tired attempt to break the tension is ignored; this is important to him, and frankly, hearing them force themself only makes the tension in him worse. His eyes are serious, searching, staring into their pale irises. He wants a lot of things. Cairngorm's never once asked him for anything. But this particular heist takes two people to finish. He's not about to take their time and their feelings them if they won't take the same from him. ]
What do you want, Cairn?
[ they're agreeing in words, their slender fingers are entwined with his, but they're only reacting, only allowing, only "if he says so" - it's not enough for him. He can't do this if he feels like they're simply letting themself be swept up in his current - especially because he knows, he's certain they feel this same warmth. Even if he thinks it would be good for them, even if he knows he could make them happy, he won't force them. He can't force them. He needs them to reach back towards him and take his hand themself. Any happiness he could give them would be meaningless if they can't even acknowledge that they want it. ]
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Um... I don’t know... whatever...
[ They let him touch their face, but they dart their eyes away as soon as they see how seriously he’s looking at them, a little bit of color coming into their cheeks. They’re so uncomfortable. They’re not accustomed to wanting things, much less saying as much, because they’ve lived their life with the mindset that they could always go without. When they’d been asked if they wanted a new name, they preferred to let other people make the decision for them. They want that here, too— they want to be led, want the responsibility of making a decision out of their hands. But the more they wait for him to make it himself, the more it becomes obvious that he won’t let up.
Its different, this time. Back then, they would’ve been okay staying named Ghost Quartz, because that was fine with everyone around them. It wasn’t until Phos reached their hand out to them that they were able to appreciate their strong and serious sounding name. Lupin, on the other hand, does not seem fine with just letting them coast the way they always have; no, he wants them to be happy, to choose happiness, and he obviously cares a lot about whatever they’re thinking. Maybe its sad that thats such an unfamiliar thought to them, but it is, so the beats following their flustered scrambling are heavy and awkward. ]
If we pair up... I'd be fine with it... [ They're aware even as they're saying it that this is not the response he wants. But they are trying, they really are, to express what they're feeling. It's hard, especially when communicating verbally comes so easily to him. ] I don’t want you to stop treating me the way you have been. Mostly...
[ The embarrassing phrases and stuff can go, but it's not the time to complain about that. They could lose him at a moments notice. There’s not the promise of always having another time to let him know how they feel, or to have a century to think about it. That’s what pushes them on to pry these words out of themself, their face becoming redder and it becoming more and more impossible to look anywhere in his direction. ]
To rely on you, and be something special to you... [ They feel so nervous. But why should they? It's Lupin... he's probably the only one it's safe to open up to this extent around. There's a curt sigh, like they're trying to let go of some of their frustration, before closing their eyes completely. ] I— want to.
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Yes, embarrassed is fine. It's okay if they're shy, and it's okay if they're scared and worried about the future, too - as long as they're willing to try, and want to have him at their side, he'll take care of them. He'll find a way to fight those fears - or, at the very least, he'll love Cairngorm enough to make them nothing but distant maybe-one-days. Bold claims. Not a fiber of his being doubts that he can back them up. He can, and will. ]
Consider your wish granted, then.
[ A reply in a low voice, quiet, decisive. Not for the first time (not even in this conversation), Lupin finds them so painfully cute that he feels like it's taking all his willpower not to kiss those adorably red cheeks, cold weather be damned - and that brings him to the matter of his second theft of the evening, as outlined in his card. It might be a little devilish to take, considering how much he's overstimulated them already... But they've given him permission to be a little more selfish with their agreement to this "partnership" of theirs. ]
I've one more thing to ask you. Back in the ice palace... I'm glad you saved me and all, but doing that while I couldn't even appreciate it was foul play. I say we need a do-over. [ a pause; for the first time in this entire conversation, Lupin actually looks a bit shy, if only for a moment, smiling helplessly. ] ... May I kiss you?
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And humans kiss the ones that they’re in love with. They recall easily what Lupin had said at that dance, how being close makes you feel less alone, its supposed to be comforting and a sign of trust for humans— back then, they thought it was pretty stupid, honestly. Now they’re seeing more of what he meant, in his shy and affectionate expression, and in his request.
They let out a little huff, slightly frustrated by how flustered they feel and how he keeps prolonging their embarrassment. “Foul play” is annoying too, and so is the fact that he’s reminding them he was conscious during that - what else were they supposed to do? He knows gems don’t do this, they’re not even sure if they can do it correctly... ]
If you’re gonna do it, just do it already...
[ They’ve frankly had enough of saying directly what they mean in this conversation, so they can’t stop themself from dodging the question while giving him the green light. If they were the same gem they were nine months ago, they wouldn’t pay this ritual a second thought— they’d think of it as something alien and definitely kind of gross. But its meaningful to him, and to them now too now that they can see the significance behind it... they lean slightly into his hand, fully expecting him to lead them. Its mortifying that they have no idea what they’re doing, but if this is something they get to share with him and him alone, then, they guess they can bear it. ]
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Close your eyes.
[ he has no expectation that they'll know what to do here - he's very sure they're just indulging him and his weird human behaviors, in fact - but he's fine with that; taking the lead and making these romantic gestures has always been his bag, anyway. He can be careful and patient; he'll even endure a few bruises if he has to. He just wants to kiss them. Very badly. His hand doesn't leave theirs, holding it tightly; the other stays on their face, and he leans in, gently pressing a kiss to the opposite cheek before touching his lips to theirs.
Cairngorm's lips aren't warm - in fact, they're very cold after being out in the frozen air for this long. They aren't soft and yielding like the girls he's been with in the past. It's almost like kissing a marble statue: hard, smooth, strangely perfect in its shape. In another context, he might call the sensation unpleasant. But in this context - where that strange perfection beneath his lips and fingertips is Cairngorm, beautiful and living and accepting that flutter that's been living in his heart for weeks with shy reciprocation - Lupin can't even feel the chill. It's an innocent kiss, soft and chaste, but he lingers, as if the moment he leaves them, he won't be allowed to have this again. And maybe he won't. Maybe he really will wake up in his bed tomorrow. But if he does, he wants to make sure he doesn't forget - and that Cairngorm doesn't forget him, either, in the long, long winter of their life. ]
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The brief kiss to their cheek gives them a moment to prepare for the soft feeling of his lips on theirs. Its definitely very weird, alien and like nothing they can compare it to... but its also pleasant in the way his lips have a sort of give, pliant and soft, even when they’re too unsure to press back too much. Its a world of difference between now and when they’d kissed him at the palace— it was out of desperation then, and without any of the gentleness of this. Even if they’re still reeling from everything they’ve spoken about, they can’t stop thinking about how this is meant only for them. Its strange, sure, but when its him, someone who treasures them and only them, they can’t find it in themself to care too much.
They tilt their head a little more to the side, like they’ve seen in books, letting him linger there while they lean into his hand. They’re not sure when this is supposed to end, and they almost don’t want it to, since its almost as if in this surreal moment, framed by the warm light and the silence around them, like all the constant weight on them is lifted off. He has that effect on them, they’ve realized. When they’re with him, its like— they’re free. ]
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That was much better.
[ teasing, but very, very affectionate. He delicately brushes a stray strand of hair behind their ear before at last letting them go, standing up straight again and letting his hand fall to his side. (Naturally, the one interlocked with theirs stays that way - he couldn't escape their grip, and he doesn't want to, anyway.) ]
And with that, my mission's accomplished. [ a grin, playful, a bit more tender than usual. ] Thank you kindly, ma chérie. I think I'll be enjoying my stolen rewards for a while to come.
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Rewards?
[ They repeat back, slightly distracted by their thinking. Oh. That's right. His card had said he was going to steal things from them... they'd forgotten about it in the midst of all this. Is it— that play on words he's used before? That "a heart to steal" thing. It can't be something that silly and abstract, can it? ]
I don't know what you're talking about.... that, and the "ma chérie" thing. [ They'd always assumed it was just some little slip of their understanding, but when they think about it, he really only says that during moments like these. ] If I'm supposed to understand it, I don't.
[ Sometimes Lupin randomly says words they don't understand; they usually just skip over it because it's not that important, and they don't care that much, considering they have the huge Town Translating Everything They Say magic to blame for the mess up. ]
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"My darling."
[ so, yes, he started calling them that before he told them in plainer words how he felt; he winks at them, then lifts his free hand to poke a finger at their chest. ]
Like I said, I was taking what you took from me. My love, [ he taps his index finger against their blouse before moving it up to touch it to their mouth, ] and my lips. Now we're even.
[ not even the slightest hint of shame from saying these things. He's just proud, really... He walks around them, then, back towards the door and Flavo, tugging them along with him. The sun's getting lower, and he's less confident in his ability to drag them back to their house compared to his ability to romance them. ]
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[ They certainly make it seem like they are complaining, with the way they cover their face with their free hand out of embarrassment, their voice laced with annoyance. He wasn't joking about feeling this way for some time, which is cool to have proof of (they guess), but he really has some nerve. Rather than let go of his hand like they were starting to think they should, they squeeze it harder in retaliation to both this new knowledge they've uncovered, and the poking - almost like they're scolding him. ]
Ugh, you are so... [ Something. They don't know. But they let up the pressure on his hand only when he starts tugging them towards the door, dragging their hand down their face. ] You made it seem like you were actually going to steal something from the house.
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[ yeah, it hurts, but he's laughing - their embarrassment is cute, as ever, and he can't really blame them. That time, he was the one playing dirty; he probably deserves a little bone-squishing for that one.
he is, indeed, so something, and he knows it, too. ]
I stole you out of the house, [ he offers lightly, shooting them an innocent look as his footsteps crunch into the snow outside. ]
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Although it is sort of comforting to return to their usual dynamic, and to go back to acting as they always do together— just with something new established between them. A thought they most certainly will keep to themself. ]
You know that’s not what I meant. [ They tear their eyes away from him, staring at the ground in front of them instead. ] Is it really even “stealing” if you had to ask me to come with you?
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Pssh. I'll have you know that I never steal anything that doesn't want to be stolen.
[ there's nuance to his methods, all right!! Or maybe he just refuses to lose even in a stupid little conversation. It's a familiar enough feeling, talking like this, and he enjoys it, too. ]
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[ Of course, what he's implying by that is that they wanted him to come do this. Saying that they didn't want him to do all this would contradict most of what has already transpired; they never went out of their way to find a way to stop him, after all. They didn't not want him to do it, is the kind of vibe their thought process has.
They don't seem interested in pursuing that argument any further, knowing it could lead to getting backed into a corner, so they just walk in silence. When they start nearing Flavo, though, they glance at him from the corner of their eye, slipping their hand from his, then returning to looking forward. It feels slightly like leaving this forest behind is like leaving the suspended reality they were in where it was just the two of them, so they become a little more wary of being seen. Mostly because they're still letting everything sink in themself - they don't think they could handle being questioned by anyone else at the moment. It's still a weird custom to them, too.
They sigh a bit, mostly to themself, staying near him while they walk. ]
You're going back to Ruga, aren't you?
[ Or is he planning to walk with them the entire way...? ]
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He looks back at them when their hand leaves his, perhaps just slightly disappointed, but does nothing, simply sticking it back in his pocket to warm it up. Lupin knows they're probably going to be frugal with physical contact; there's no need to take it personally. Are they having second thoughts, or just being shy? Or maybe it's just uncomfortable for them. They already let him get away with a lot today. At the question, he raises an eyebrow. ]
After I drop you back off, yes. Unless you want to come back with me?
[ if his guess was wrong and they want to stay with him a little longer -- he's certainly not going to object to that. ]
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What? No. Why would I do that...
[ It didn't occur to them at all to follow him back to Ruga. They'd thought he might follow them back to their house, even if in their opinion, he's the one that needs to be "dropped off", but other than that, they'd thought most of their interaction was supposed to be over for the day - again, it's not in their rock DNA to even think to ask for more than what's readily offered. Even thinking about his offer briefly, a number of problems arise: firstly, his housemate might be there, so they'd have to come up with a reason for being over, and secondly, going over would mean having to sleep on a low quality couch as opposed to their average quality bed, whenever it gets dark enough. Neither of those things are things that they want, whether or not Lupin is there. ]
I just— didn't know if you were going to follow me all the way back.
[ He doesn't have to, so it's probably because he wants to - even though with each passing minute that it gets darker, it's getting colder out here, probably. They give him a little questioning glance, as if to silently ask if there's a reason why he isn't just taking the economical route and going home from here. ]
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[ CAIRNGORM!! It's a good thing Lupin is so understanding - and it doesn't hurt that he's still feeling all warm and fuzzy, either. His tone is scolding, but in a playful way; he's not actually upset with them. The question in their eyes is evident, so he continues. ]
I don't want to leave you just yet. That's all. Besides, escorting you back is part of my duty as a gentleman.
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[ They remind him with a huff, turning their face away slightly. It's not that they don't want to be around him, they just didn't think to go with him. In their view, they already got to do a lot with him today - for how selfish they've been described as over the last nine centuries, they're not too greedy when it comes to taking up people's time. They know he's only joking, but they're still going to provide a good reason if he's going to teasingly say they're terrible. ]
I can't go over, anyway. With the sun down, and how I've skipped hibernation twice, I'll get tired pretty soon— Lottie and Phos will think I disappeared if I just go wherever. [ Those two are so dramatic that they'd rather avoid a frantic scene being made of it. ] It's better if we just go back...
[ They deliberately leave that little 'we' in to let him know that they want him to come with them, even if they still think it's stupid that he's escorting them. ]
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That was back then. You've got special permission to come see me whenever you want now.
[ he'll be happy to give up some time for them - he finds he has an excess of it here. There's only so many smoke bombs one man can make before he gets sick of it. And there's not much use for a handsome vigilante in a tiny village comprised mostly of upstanding (confused) citizens. ]
But fair enough. Flavo it is. [ a beat. the comment does bring to mind a question... ] Are you going to tell them?
[ he's guessing no... but Lupin feels like it's something he should ask. ]
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[ They mumble, covering their eyes for a moment. It's embarrassing just thinking about it. There's no way they can just show up and tell their housemates, I decided Lupin is special to me in a more-than-friend way, and he also thinks of me like that, so we're a thing now. There's also the issue of what they're supposed to call Lupin now; they can't call him their partner-partner, because then he might get confused with Phos, but calling him their lover or something like that is too embarrassing. If they can, they'd like to avoid addressing him on his own at all— at least saying they're a pair or a couple isn't as bad...
Suffice to say, this is all still a lot for them to chew on. They don't think they regret it, but for them, personally, they need to keep it to themself for a little while. They're already so tight-lipped about their relationships with others— they barely, if ever, even mention Lupin to those two to begin with. For a few beats, the only sound is the pair's footsteps in the snow, before they move their hand to hold the side of their face, their brow growing more tense. ]
Why do you ask?
[ Does he want them to? Is he going to tell people right away...? It's always easier to let Lupin lead the conversation. ]
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